Saturday, July 31, 2004


The boredom is sucking my life out as I type.

Friday, July 30, 2004

Hell at the opera

AHHHHHH! The opera was terrible- awful- OH MY GOD!- It reeked of badness- oh man- oh man it was so bad. So so bad. Imagine bad. Then even worse. Then multiply that by 100. It was worse than that! AHHHHH! The badness is forever burned into my memory! AHHHHHH!

Oh it was terrible. But I saw Travis there. Grrr...if you want to know about his story IM me sometime. And I saw Jen Hermanski- she's such a nice girl.

There's nothing on TV. Blah.

Post 22

I just spent 20 minutes pefecting my hair. And I still don't like it. I'm going out to the opera tonight (another one.) I don't like operas, but we had free tickets. So my mom, my grandmother, and myself are making a night for ourselves by going to eat at Applebee's and then off to the opera. Real classy. But we'e already decided if it sucks (it's in German- and I don't know German) we're going to be leaving as soon as we can.

OH YEAH- Jen- if you read this, call me tommorow at some point. I left a message on your machine at home. But I wanted to see The Village and wondered if you would go with me at some point this weekend. If not, I'll go see it by myself like that guy I saw when I went to Spiderman 2. Scroll down and read the old posts if you don't know what I mean.

Off to the opera!

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Post 21

So today was my last day at the opera...*sadness*...

There are still two performances left, but I don't need to go to them. I had so much fun, despite all my complaining. I learned so much and I even got a new insight into directing, something I'd love to do but has always been afraid to. I still love acting, but I think I'd love to direct at some point too.

Tonight, I'm going to have a "Monster" watching party with my mom. My brothers and dad are on a canoe trip with the Boy Scouts (yay- all by myself all week!) so my Mom and I are gonna watch my "Monster" DVD tonight. It's an incredible film, Charlize Theron is incredible and if you haven't seen it yet. Rent it. It's well worth the $3.50.

I'm bored now.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Post 20

My 20th post! Yay!

So last night was opening night for the opera and the show went extremely well. And before that I went out to 51 Union Street in Lee (owned by Fat Daddy's) and had my all time favorite- chicken parm pizza- I mean what else is a better topping on my 2nd favorite food- put the two together- you have my all time favorite thing to eat ever. Delicioso!

Anyways, after the show Krystal (PHS kids now who this little brat is- but for those who don't she's a 10th grader who thinks she is the best ting in the world- snotty, bitchy- the whole nine yards.) So anyways, she said this really rude, snotty comment and "blunt Patrick" who has been coming back lately (Michel brought it out of me- the moron CIT from DARTS) after a few years in retirement came out once more and I turned to her and said "Krystal, has anyone called you a bitch before?" She says "No." And I say "Well that's suprising because you are." And she ran off crying. Now just two weeks ago, she confessed to me on having a huge crush on me for the past year. I should feel guilty for calling her that- but I don't. And that bothers me. Maybe I'm becoming insensitive or something. It does bother me a little, but then I think "this has been a long time coming." I've been meaning to tell her that for a long time and last night with whatever she said (I don't exactly remember) but it struck a cord with me.

And Michel just signed on, which reminds me of a conversation I had with him the other day. It started off ok, then he started in with his usualy dumbness and started pissing me off. Then he tops it off with "the darts kids love me and have been calling me non stop. how bout u?" And I put up my away message and ignored him for the rest of the time. Eventually, after 15 more tries to get me to respond, he signed off and I took my message off.

Speaking of other people I hate- Liz, Jen- I saw Justin in the GAP the other day buying clothes. I don't know if I mentioned this yet- but he's my archnemesis. I loathe him. Anyways, apparently, he's not going to college anymore, but he's going to work instead and practice his music. 10 years down the road, I hope he had moved into a trailer park, gained 200 pounds, and dies a painful, lonely death in trailer and isn't discovered to be dead until his trashy neighbors smell his decaying corpse. But no- that's mean. The fact he isn't going anywhere in life is pleasure enough for me.

Nice, aren't I? Expect a layout change sometime soon.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Post 19

Urg. I went out to 99 and ate chicken parm (of course) and then I went to Friendly's and had a Cyclone- excuse me it's now called a Friend-Z (why?!?!) and now I'm so stuffed my stomach is going to explode all over the keyboard. I'm just so full!

Today I went shopping and got some new clothes- yay! I love clothes shopping so much. Today it was earthy tone clothes day. I got three brown/tan/brown and blue shirts. All earthy tones. I don't usually wear brown, but it looked suprisingly good on me. I'm so vain. And gay. Hehe.

Tonight I'm throwing a one person Moulin Rouge party. Which means popcorn (if I can), iced tea, and a DVD showing of Moulin Rouge in my room. Yay! I have no life.

Also, I downloaded this song today- "Angels" the one Jessica Simpson covered that's playing on radio nowadays. Yeah, I hate her, so I downloaded the much better (and long forgotten) Robbie Williams version. Anyone know him besides me? Real cute. I attached a photo. Anyways, it's a gorgeous and I've been listening to it on loop for nearly a half hour. It's just beautiful. Download it. Came about about 6, 7 years ago. I loved it then but forgot all about it until I heard the atrocious Simpson version on the radio. Arg- I hate her voice. Here's a pic of Robbie followed by the lyrics:

I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate
And do they know
The places where we go
When we're grey and old
'cos I have been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel the love is dead
I'm loving angels instead

And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead

When I'm feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead

And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead

And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead

Friday, July 23, 2004

Post 18

So, on the 22 minute ride home for work (such a waste of gas) I thought to myself- what am I going to tell my friends tonight? I've had such a boring couple of days- nothing interesting has happened and I promised I would write something today. But I had nothing...

Then I got home.

I turned up Tyler Street Ext. (Pittsfield people- the one that runs next to GE on my side) and there is an accident up the hill with a car folded in on the front. Cops, fire trucks, ambulence, the whole nine yards. The street is blocked so I go around the long way. Turning down my street, I see my whole family and most others out on their lawns talking. I pull up ask what's going on and find out the car hit the telephone pole and blew out all the power on our street and the one next to us. OK. How long until we get it back? A few hours. (This was at 7:30.) OK. What else? Look up on the side of the house. So I do. And apparently, our surge breaker broke. Exploded. All over the side of our house. Well, not all over, but in the top corner. Our siding is burned. Great. Lovely. So how long until we get our power back? We don't know. Fantastic. And I was planning on watching Jeopardy tonight. (I got out early- yay!) So the firemen show up, inspect our house, make sure it won't catch fire. Everything's good! Yay! Meanwhile, we wait in the dark until 9:45 when the power comes back on. Hoorah! Did we lose anything? Check the computer. OK. Check the TVs in your rooms. OK. The fridge? OK. Everything's OK. Uh...Shaun (my brother) did you unplug the TV? Uh, no. Fantastic. So, in our new-just-bought Entertainment Center we lost everything. TV, VCR, DVD, Stereo. Yay!

Thank god I have all four of my own in my room.

So, that's what happened to me tonight.

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Post 17 I've been working extremely long days now. 9 to 9. Grrr. Tommorow I don't go in until one though- so it's all good. I've been wanting to email the DARTS staff, I just have had NO time at all. But we only have two more days of rehersal, and then 4 performances next week and then my opera job is all over! Yay!

I got an email from Lluc today, my little buddy from the first week of camp. You know, if I had to pick one favorite kid who I miss it would be him. And he's in Spain now, so I probably will never see the kid again. Sigh.

I really don't have much to talk to about. I gotta go watch my tape of Big Brother 5 and The Simple Life. I'll write tommorow morning when I have time and can formulate thoughts.

Good night.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Post 16

Grrr...working an 11 hour day sucks. I'm never home anymore! Grrrr...I hate it.

So, yesterday I forgot to mention I finally got around to seeing Spiderman 2. It was very good. Not of the best (I didn't like the ending but I don't want to ruin it so I won't tell anyone.) I thought it was cheesy, but strangely enough, the idealist Patrick enjoys tragic endings. Don't know why. But the rest of the movie was good.

Anyways, while I was there I saw this hot guy sitting all by himself! I felt so bad. I don't know if he didn't have any friends or was stood up, but I felt awful. I would hate to be in a situation like that. So lonely. I wanted to go give him a hug! (For two reasons...) But really he looked so sad sitting there with a big bucket of popcorn. Oh well. He's probably like a bijillionaire who has tons of friends and they just didn't want to go see the movie with him.

Also, last night, in a spasm of emotion I wrote Sara (a former best friend) a five page letter telling her how I feel about her. Do I give it to her or what?

Big Brother's coming on, so I'm signing off. Bye bye.

Post 15

I think it's the 16th post. Oh well. Anyways, I had to tell you guys a funny story about something that happened at rehersal yesterday. It cracks me up everytime I think of it.

OK, so we put up masking around the set. Masking is basically black cloth on wood to hide backstage. Sort of like a stiff curtain. So, during one scene in the 2nd opera, the little pip-squeak of a girl (imagine Kristin Chenoweth - tiny girl, huge voice) hits this incredibly high note. A high C, for those who care- which is very high. As she sings, she is supposed to run offstage, and she's always ran to the right. So earlier in the day, the stage manager told her they put up masking so she needs to run to the left. Well, as she was running off, she ran to the right and ran smack dab into the masking like a brick wall and fell over backwards. Imagine a tiny opera singer running into a brick wall singing a high note. Hilarious. I'm still laughing. But you probably needed to be there...

Off to work! Bye.

Monday, July 19, 2004

Post 14

Alright- I haven't updated in a couple days- A) because my schedule is crazy for the opera- I'm working 9 to 8 days! Holy cabolli! Is cabolli spelled right? Hmmm...

I also was reading "angels and demons" by Dan Brown over the whole weekend so whenever I wasn't doing anything I was reading that. Very good book. The man is an awesome writer. He also wrote "The DaVinci Code"

Why do I end all these in dots...

I don't know...

Hmmmm...ok, so these dreams I've been having are crazy- good but crazy. Mabrouka- the banana dream- HAHAHA! Yeah- that's another story. But I've been having these dreams about this person I saw at DARTS. They were a camper at the YWW, but man I obsessed over this person for the whole camp. Now I've had four- including last night- 4 dreams about them. Nice dreams. But I don't even know this person's name! You guys might've seen them too.

And which one of you Darties text messaged me on a cell phone that wasn't yours? It's a Boston area code. It's been pestering me for two weeks now. And I called the number today and a guy answered. I hung up. But who was it? Nevermind- it was Michel the moron. Mabrouka- thank you.


Alright- this is killing me. All my friends and family back home know, and my darties might have a clue or know, I've dropped enough hints- but I'm gay. Hi. Yes. I've been out for, almost a year and a half. I didn't want to tell you darties there because, well I don't know how you all would react. But that's why I felt really insecure the first week while I was there (remember my breakdown?) It was because Michel (dumb moron) told me the kids were talking about me and that I was wussy and girly. And it really hurt me and I felt really insecure and unfit. That's what that was all about. And one reason why I don't like Michel. Sean is also gay (if you hadn't guessed) which is what the whole "ummm" incident was about. He was hugging me because Moe told me to talk to him about it, because Sean could relate. That's where that came from. I just was afraid to tell you guys there because well, we were stuck togther and I didn't know how you would react/treat me after it. I'm not the type of person who flaunts their sexuality to others. i hate guys who do that. It bothers me a lot- but I feel a need to be honest with you guys because if you're going to continue reading my journals, I want to be honest. For instance, the dreams I've been having were over a hot guy from YWW. He had black hair and- oh- he was so hot.

So...I feel much better now. Sort of. Oh well. If you guys don't want to talk to me anymore or whatever if you hate gay people (which I dont think any of you do)...except Michel but he doesn't read this (I hope). If he does, hello! So leave a comment- tell me what yo think. Please. Thanks.

Alright, I'm tired. Go night night. Night night.

Friday, July 16, 2004

Post 13

Hi. One thing I forgot before I go to work again (5:30 to 8:30 blech) Jen- Catwoman doesn't open until next Friday so let's move our plans for this Sunday to the Sunday after unless you have to work which in that case you call me and we'll figure something out. OK. Bye.

Post 12

Heyo. It's me. Duh- who else would it be. I had a busy day yesterday so I couldn't update. Last night I went to see Sweet Charity (again hehe). It was just as good as the first time. And I've been listening to my cast recording of it all morning. *if they could see me now...blah blah bla blah blah blah.* Whatever. Anyways- I don't really have anything important to talk about. Just updating my existence.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

Post 11

You know- I've found that lately I've been doing this thing where I start a story, realize I didn't set up the story- set it up in the middle of the story- and then continue with the story I started with. Make sense?

So yeah- the job has begun to get better. Day by day the fun increases. It's not a bad job at all. Still a little boring- especially during the hour and half lunch breaks when I bring my lunch and it takes me 10 minutes to eat and I have 80 more minutes with nothing to do.

I'm watching Sex and the City right now. I love this show. It's so great! And so funny. It's my new favorite old show.

I just realized I'm way too tired to try typing out thoughts that make sense. And I already posted today. So I'm going to stop.




Post 10

Alright- so last night I got out of work at 6 and went to see Farenheit 9/11. What an incredible movie! First, I am a huge Michael Moore fan and I love the way he makes movies. This one is perfect. I hate Bush anyways- so the movie was- oh man it was just awesome. I am so glad I'm going to be able to vote in the next election because I do not want Bush in office. I was a lot more upset over the movie last night but I fell asleep soon after I got home and didn't have time to blog my feelings so now that I've cooled down I can't remember them. Oh well.

Oh and two nights ago I had this fantastic, amazing dream- not one of those dreams- well sort of- but better. It was one of those dreams where something you've been wanting for a long time comes true and you are so happy and you wake up and it's not real. I hate those dreams. They always end with disappointment...but they feel so good.

I'm off to work now. Should be real fun.

Monday, July 12, 2004

Post 9

Arg. I hate my opera job. I hate it sooo much. And listen to my advice- don't drive after you come out of a job you hate. It never goes well.

I got there at 11 this morning and left a little after 7- you wanna know what I did all day? NOTHING! I sat in a chair and watched opera. And I'm not a huge fan of opera. I was so freakin bored- I tried so hard not to fall asleep (it was my first day on the job.) But, oh, how I hate it. And then coming home I was so mad because he said we would get out at 6:30 and I wanted to see Farenheit 9/11 (still haven't seen it- so kill me) at 7:40 at the mall- but instead he keeps going over this one scene- which trust me was fine the first time until 7:05. GAR! I was so mad. So tommorow night. The schedule says I'll be done at 6- but God only knows what time that really means. I just hate it with a passion.

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Post 8

Alright, I start my job at the opera tommorow. Yay! If you could hear the way I would speak what I just wrote you would note the sarcasm. I couldn't be less unexcited. I don't really enjoy operas, I don't hate them- I'm just not interested. So it should be fun. Hey, it's a short day (I think). I go in at 11:00 which isn't bad. Don't know what time I stay there until though...

Anyways- Jen- I went to Video Studio 12 today because you said you would be working there and Tony said you didn't come in until 4:00! I bought Monster anyways. I love that movie. Charlize Theron is incredible in it! She's just so in the character and the moment when the play "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey (one of my all time favorite songs) and Charlize and Christina Ricci kiss I cry. It's just so beautiful! And gosh- Charlize is gorgeous ain't she. I mean- not so much in the movies- but in real life.

So yeah, I said I would talk about DARTS some. It was a fun week. I miss all my CITs (well, at least 4 of you.) It's gonna be weird not seeing you guys anymore. It's amazing how we all bonded though- and so quickly- I felt like we were all good friends from the start. I even felt like that for Michel, then it got worse. Alright, for those who don't know Michel was the other male CIT. At orientation, I liked him, we got along great. Then the first week of camp, he got a little on my nerves and I disliked him at some points, but overall it wasn't bad. However, the second week I couldn't wait until I didn't see him anymore. I hope he doesn't read this. But if he does- he'll know how I really feel. It's not like he likes me that much anyways. I was really mean to him. Made fun of him all the time told him how stupid he was to his face. Stuff like that. But I loved the rest of you. All of you.

And one more thing- tonight my dad took me out driving in the standard (I have to learn because he's going camping and the only car I can drive is the standard- AHHH!) So I went to the GE parking lot near my house and these two guys pull up in this black SUV and stopped in front of the car. They took out their badges and were dressed in military uniforms and they were like- "You need to leave. This is private property." Now they wanted to escort us out, and I was behind the wheel- I don't know how to drive a standard- so I stalled like five times as they tried escorting us out of the parking lot. I was so embarrassed. I hate the military.

Friday, July 09, 2004

Post 7

Alright- I'm back. Super dead tired but I'm back. I wrote everything important that happened to me at DARTS down so I won't forget anything. But I'm too tired to sit and type it so tommorow I will.

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Post 6

Happy 4th of July!

Alright, so the game last night was super fun. Unfortunately, I didn't get on TV. It sucks though, because I almost did. They wanted to interview me, but I had left like 3 minutes before they wanted me and I come back out of costume and James was like- "Where were you! They wanted to interview you!" Oh well. Things happen, right. So today we're having a picnic and having all the relatives over, going to watch fireworks tonight and I need to pack again somewhere between things. So, have a happy 4th and I'll be back next weekend to talk about all the details for this week (I plan on writing the funny things down so I can remember them all.)

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Post 5

Hey. I didn't write how DARTS went last night because well- I was so damn tired! I was fine while I was at the camp, not tired one bit- but as soon as I got into my grandpa's car to go home- I fell asleep. Not only did I stay sleeping the whole ride- but as soon as I got home I fell asleep on the couch. Then I barely woke up, went out to 99 to eat and fell asleep there. Got home, went online to check news, went up to my bed and there I slept until 8:30 this morning wen I got up because I needed to go get fitted for my costume for tonight (see Post 4.) Make sure you all watch it- I might be on TV! It'll be on ESPN Classic- which over here is on 67 I think. Not sure about Boston area.

So let's sum up the last week of my life. It was probably one of the toughest to get through- yes even harder then tech week for musicals. But it was also one of the most funnest times ever. I can't put it all into words because it was just tremendous. A fantastic experience. I had my troubles (I had some ADD kids I was in charge of- Terrel- gah!). But nonetheles at the end of the week, it was incredibly hard to leave these kids. Especially this one kid named Lluc (Luke). He was almost like a little brother to me for the week. Such a nice kid- he's moving to Spain next week so it was a tough week for him but he made it through. It's amazing watching the progression of these kids too- they come with all the walls up, shy, afraid- but end up not wanting to leave. It's rewarding as a CIT to watch these kids and be part of their memories. It feels really good. Alright- I'm super hungry right now so I'll put one more entry tommorow about how tonight goes and then I'm off to another week of DARTS on Monday.