Sunday, September 05, 2004

Troubles: Day 2

I am having trouble and good Lord, it's only the second day here. I just can't seem to adjust. And now my paranoia is setting in. (My DARTies know what I mean.) When I get paranoid that everyone hates me. I feel like I'm not making new friends- but the reasonable, rational me is saying- geez Pat give yourself a break, it's only the second day. And I'm feeling so self concious about the gay issue. I know it's not anyone's business, but my roomate is insistant on setting me up and I say "No thanks, I don't want to." And what will he say when he founds out? How will he find out? Good Lord, I don't know. And a cool girl named Valerie has been hitting on me and flirting with me and I'm purposely trying to give her some NO signals, but she just ain't gettin' em. Oy vey,

I've also been spending a lot of time alone. I had a half hour of free time tonight and instead of trying to meet new people, I sat on a bench in the middle of campus alone. I feel more comfortable there. I am making some new friends though, Jeremy, Tito, my roomate is cool. And I get along great with my RA and another RA. I think a huge problem of mine is making friends with guys. I can't seem to have a relationship with guys unless it is a gay relationship. I guess that's why I am gay. I am making a lot of good new friends, all girls. Alex, Jen (another Jen, Jen!), Val, a bunch of them.

I guess I feel lonely too. And I miss my friends and my family. So please leave a comment, let me know you exist and care because right now, whoever is reading this is the only person I can talk to,

3 Comments:

Blogger hOtmOmMa said...

heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
see im commenting because i love you.
take out a .38 and shoot that paranoia down. you're an awesome person and whoever doesn't see that is an asshole who isn't worth knowing.

love you
mabrouka

September 11, 2004 at 5:31 PM  
Blogger hOtmOmMa said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

September 11, 2004 at 5:31 PM  
Blogger hOtmOmMa said...

uh yeah...just because that DELTED COMMENT looks kind of sinister. it just posted twice so i deleted one.

September 17, 2004 at 4:09 PM  

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