Wednesday, October 20, 2004

The one month anniversary of my 18th birthday

You'd think I should be celebrating it, but no, hardly celebrating. I've had a pretty rough month. One month ago today I celebrated my birthday here, my first away from home ever, with my friends who were gracious enough to buy me a cake, some flowers, and some balloons. It was a good day at the time. I haven't truly experienced those in a while. It all started to go down hill from that day on. If you may notice, I am beating around and around several bushes here because hey, people who haven't made some of my days happy (for many reasons) could very well be reading this right now. However, I must keep in mind that even though it feels like years, I have only been a college student for a month and half. I'm still new at this thing. I still have to call up my mom and cry to her because things aren't going well (this has happened way to many times now.) I hate drama, I hate being at the center of it. I hate causing it. I wish it would all just go away. I wish people liked me, I wish people didn't get upset with me. Oh I wish so many things. But wishes don't come true most of the time as I would be rich, in a relationship, not in an awkward situation right now, and of course, on Broadway acting my little tushy out.


Blogger Beach Babe 11 said...

Happy 18th and 1 month Birthday! I've been reading your posts and they have melted my heart. Please don't feel so sad about everything, trust me I know about pain and hurt especially during your first times at college. I am an EXPERT at this pain. Unfortuntely my first time at college began great and second by second worsened. The new friends that I met seemed nice, but then each day I felt like they were burdened by me like I wasn't wanted by them, even though the first 2 weeks or so were the best. Then the friends that I already had, changed and turned into people that I thought I knew but it turned out that I never really knew the real them at all, which hurt me and continues to hurt me.One word of advice, dont ever lose touch with your real true high school friends because to me, it seems like I dont have any left. After I graduated, and I mean the 2nd after I received the diploma and left the ceremony, maybe 3 of my whole Big class of friends stayed in touch with me since then. That truly hurts b/c I was (or at least thought I was) friends with EVERYONE in my class, but hey... was it all fake or what? I want to know! I'm sorry your hurting ,But I just wanted to let you know that I know what your going through and your not alone, if you ever need to talk I'm here...I hope I didn't bore you and I hope you dont mind that I commented on your post. If you ever need me,I'm at Have a great day/night!

October 21, 2004 at 8:42 PM  
Blogger veggirl14 said...

Awww, I have a box of Lion King tissues! They come in the same Kleenex three pack as Aladdin. I am sad that you are sad. I hope things get better for you very soon. I doubt that people don't like you or are sick of you. You are Pat. That is not possible. I love you and so should everyone else, damnit. Talk to you soon, I hope.

October 21, 2004 at 9:28 PM  

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