Monday, November 29, 2004

"Rudolph" Retort Rant

Like my alliteration there, eh?

When I was in my early years of elementary school someone came up with the grand idea of adding new lyrics, or callbacks, or retorts to the classic Christmas carol, "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." I do not know if they were popular elsewhere, but upon asking me mum if these lyrics/callbacks/retorts were around when she sang the song in elementary school, she responded with a curious "Nah. First time I 'erd 'em it was back when ye was a wee lit'le thang." Well, not quite like that, but it would've been awesome if she did. See as we was setting up the Christmas tree in me home back in the Pitts (stop with accent!) "Rudolph" came upon the speakers of my computer and my brothers joined in with the usual retorts. If you do not know these lyrics, I shall put them here for your viewing pleasure:
"Rudolph, the red-nosed reindee
Had a very shiny nose
Like a light bulb!
And if you ever saw it
Saw it
You would even say it glows.
Like a red light!

All of the other reindeer
Used to laugh and call him names
Like Pinocchio!
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games.
Like Monopoly!

Then one foggy Christmas eve
Santa came to say:
Ho ho ho!
'Rudolph with your nose so bright,
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?'

Then all the reindeer loved him
Loved him!
As they shouted out with glee,
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer,
You'll go down in history!
Like George Washington!"

These additions may be different to you, but as a child, this was how I knew them and proudly sang along and yelled them out when I went to my parent's work's annual Christmas parties and they'd have David Grover come in a play some Christmas tunes with his Big Bear Band. These were so cool to say at one point, but then when I got into like 8th grade, suddenly, I grew a strong desire of hatred for these additions. I find them so incredibly irritating now. I loathe them. Especially the George Washington one. It doesn't even fit right. And who is the tard ass who came up with these in the first place? Huh? And why? Was the song not good enough for you? Did it need this silly little additions? No. It's a classic song. Don't mess with it. There is no reason to. So please, if you or anyone you know sings these STUPID additions to the song when you hear "Rudolph" please stop and if you, or the person, does not stop, tell me I will personally kick you in the groin.

Merry Christmas!


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