Thursday, March 10, 2005

The Eye

When I was younger, let's say 10 years old, I remember waking up in the middle of the night unable to see. Scared, I cried out for my mom or dad to "Help me! I've gone blind!" Scared, they ran into my room to see what the fuss was all about and if I had somehow purged my eyes out during the night in an Oedipus-like rage.

Thankfully I hadn't. It was just a case of pink eye.

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This is not me.

Pink eye, according to some website, is also called *takes out mega-phone* CONJUNCTIVITIS *puts mega-phone away.* Apparently I have *takes out mega-phone again* BACTERIAL CONJUNCTIVITS *puts it away again.* There is no cure. I have to let it run its course and leak disgusting crusty shit out of my eye sockets and force me to look stoned all day long. Now I had known there was a pink eye epidemic going around this school, but just as with any other disease or burglary, you never think it will happen to you- UNTIL IT DOES. I haven't had pink eye since the time I woke up and thought I was blind. That was the last time ever.

Whoever the bastard is who gave me this disease, I will hunt you down and kill you. And whoever the bastard is who brought the disease you MCLA, I will hunt you down and pluck out your eyes so you can never give this disease TO THE REST OF THE FUCKIN CAMPUS EVER AGAIN.

< /steps down from soap box >

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